The Finicky Files - How evil is it to let your kid go to bed hungry?

Chicken. It’s not just what’s for dinner. It’s also what I am when it comes to serving said item to Clare. As far as she’s concerned, it’s a four-letter word. That is unless it’s in nugget form. It doesn’t take a nutrition degree to recognize that nuggets should not be the sole source of meat for a child. But man, they’re so easy…especially since she’s perfectly content with having them microwaved. One minute, twenty seconds, and bam! Lunch or dinner is ready.

This column is here to keep me on task, however. For what it’s worth, we have presented Clare with grilled chicken, barbecued chicken, chicken tortellini, coq au vin, etc. etc. We dutifully put a couple of small bites on her dinner plate. She persistently makes sure that those bites do not touch anything else, and then studiously ignores them. Occasionally we’ll say, as casually as we can manage, “Why don’t you try the chicken?” She graciously replies, “No, thank you.” (There was even a time when Tim offered her fifty bucks to try steak, and her reply was the same. But that’s the topic for a whole other column. And no, we don’t normally throw that kind of money around at our kids, unless you count the school uniform shirts I keep buying for Clare because I’m a failure at removing chocolate milk stains.)

So it was with a sense of futility that I presented the family with Chicken Caesar Wraps for dinner. On the one hand, it was a good choice because I knew Clare would at least eat the tortilla (for which I use whole grain flour, by the way) and the salad – as long as I let her make her own, undoubtedly chicken-free wrap. But at what point is this catering to her pickiness? If I assembled the wrap for her, and put chicken in there, she would not accept the option of simply removing the chicken. Instead, she would perhaps tear off a piece of tortilla that had not touched anything else and leave the rest alone. My well-mannered, obedient daughter would also know enough to not ask for dessert. She would instead sit with us, making pleasant conversation designed to deflect attention away from her full plate, and then ask to be excused. Meaning that she would go to bed hungry.

Now, I’m not saying that she’d be starving. Breakfast, lunch, a snack at school and a snack when she arrives home ensure that she will not waste away. But I think we all know what it’s like to go to bed on an empty stomach. Do I just keep chipping away, hoping that one of these days her hunger will be strong enough to overpower her *&%$#@* stubbornness?

In case you’re wondering, I did let her assemble her own wrap, just as I put the separate ingredients onto Danny’s plate. She enjoyed making her salad wrap, and ate two-thirds of it. Danny gobbled up his grilled chicken and half of the tortilla and left the salad alone. In other words, they ate completely true to their forms. Tim and I each really enjoyed our complete wraps. So I do consider the meal a success. I feel satisfied that I presented healthy options and will continue to do the same. And who knows, next time Clare is presented with the option to make her own wrap, she just might surprise us by sneaking one in.

Stay tuned: next column I’ll dish about my “date with the dietitian.” Turns out I’m on the relatively right track, but there are lessons for all of us.

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