The Finicky Files – Date with a Dietitian
I’m fortunate in so many of my friendships for their support, fun … and opportunities to exploit their varying skills and professions. Of late, this is especially true of my dietitian friend, Allyson. Sure, there was that time we hit a late-night diner after, well, some consumption, and while the rest of us ordered either mounds of grease or extra helpings of whipped cream, she got something semi-sensible. Oh, and don’t even get me started on my birthday lunch at the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. Suffice it to say she only went through once. Once!
On the other hand, when I invited myself over for a consultation (for which I had little to no intention of paying her), she not only graciously agreed but even provided wine and snacks. See? There’s a reason I keep her around. Well, that and her sound advice. While I’ve read books and consulted with my kids’ pediatrician in the rushed setting of their annual physicals, what I really wanted was the opportunity to discuss their specific quirks, and then get a recommended course of action.
Our general method of putting the same food in front of Clare and Danny that we have prepared for ourselves remains the correct thing to do, as does planning menus without worrying about what they may or may not eat. Beyond that, though, and what was most eye-opening and helpful to me, was Allyson’s emphasis on our need to maintain control, and to remove emotion from it. So while previously we would praise Danny for scarfing down his grilled chicken, we instead must remain totally neutral, particularly in front of Clare, who makes sure that the chicken doesn’t touch anything. Similarly, we have to refrain from making comments such as, “Not a great job on your dinner.” Instead, Allyson recommends we not draw any attention, positive or negative, to eating. After all, eating is a normal, day-to-day occurrence.
Easier said than done, and both Tim and I have molar-sized holes in our tongues as we watch dish after dish go untouched. To try to counter-act that problem, Allyson had some helpful, specific suggestions. For one, pair new things with those that are familiar, so that they don’t have an automatic fear of anything new. Hence my choice of serving the Pear & Walnut Salad with our steak dinner. This was a salad selected in an attempt to entice both kids. For Clare’s part, she likes all but one of the ingredients in the salad. Danny doesn’t normally care for more than a couple, but he’s still more open-minded. Unfortunately, neither of them gulped it down, despite Tim’s and my very sincere declarations of its tastiness. Clare nibbled on the pears and pulled a few pieces of the spinach out individually, and Danny was quite adept at grabbing the dried cherries and leaving all else alone. But by golly, Tim and I stayed quiet on the subject!
While Allyson made it clear that parents need to be the ones in control of the meals, we should find a way for the kids to have some semblance of control themselves (isn’t that what most of the parenting battles come down to, a power struggle?). We do this by giving them choices – but making sure they are healthy ones. For example, “Would you like an apple or an orange for your snack?” Ultimately the goal is to give our kids the skills and tools to make their own, correct decisions – and have it not be a big deal. At the end of the day, by simply surrounding them with nutritious options, we’re providing for them properly. Just don’t forget the multivitamin. Since they now come in all characters and flavors, this is something that even my pickiest of picky eaters eagerly consume!
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I think this is sound advice – the part about not making a big deal out of eating – it’s just something we do. I think it’s great if kids can be involved in choosing some of menu items for the week (one of my friends’ parents did this when we were kids and I always loved helping with it) – if they’re into picking out ingredients, great! If not, well, then it’s still not a big deal.
I’m having fun getting my 7 month old to eat baby food I’ve made, instead of the premade stuff – the look on her face is priceless with the new textures. The gagging I could do without, guess I have to mash it up better
It sure would make dinner a much more relaxing time if we didn’t make a big deal out of food: good or bad. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I’ve said, “Eat your dinner!” or “Just take one more bite!”. We just might have to try it, just for the peace and quiet!!