The Finicky Files – Truth is Stronger than Fiction
When Clare was not quite three, and her pickiness was still building to a crescendo, the three of us attended a 30th birthday party for a good friend. This was my kind of party, wherein the friend’s wife opted to celebrate with a small gathering of family and friends – and 30 different desserts. Best of all, she kindly shared some of the leftovers with us as a parting gift, including a slice of cake. It wasn’t a huge slice, and sweets-loving Tim and I (pregnant, might I add) had no desire to split it three ways. So when Clare saw the plate and asked me what it was, with lightning-quick reflexes I answered, “chicken cake.” Sadly, it worked like a charm, and she wanted no part of it.
Unfortunately, I have plenty of anecdotes that involve lying to my kids about the contents of their – or my – food. Those chicken taquitos that Clare likes? They have “Mexican ingredients,” not chicken. It’s ingrained enough in us that we find ourselves doing it with Danny, too, not bothering to determine whether or not we need to. For example, when we first served him marinated pork tenderloin, we told him it was steak because we already knew he liked that. Our line of thinking was that if he thinks it’s something he likes, he’ll at least try it. Similar to the philosophy that if Clare doesn’t think it’s something that she (thinks she) doesn’t like, perhaps she’ll give it a whirl.
Allyson tells me this is not the approach to take, however. While it may avoid some unpleasant confrontations about the contents of their plates, it also impedes a crucial developmental skill: learning to make good, healthful choices about what they eat. Furthermore, it’s another lesson in removing emotion from the food selection. It’s not a big deal, remember? (Tim and I are having a very hard time remembering this.) To quote Allyson, “As long as you are offering a balanced, healthy meal, you should be okay with the normal rejection of certain foods. The goal is to not harp on any particular food item and hope that eventually it will indeed be accepted.” So there’s no need to lie.
Not that I’m gunning to put Deceptively Delicious or The Sneaky Chef out of business. As Allyson told me, “It’s far more important to differentiate between steak and pork than admitting to some pureed spinach in the brownies you’re offering.” On the other hand, “While it’s fine to slip in some veggies to a casserole or soup, etc., where they may not be identified as easily, you definitely don’t want to trick kids into eating things. Not only will it lead to control issues later on in life, it’s confusing for a two- or three-year-old who is still learning the basics about food.”
As far as the pork goes, Danny did try it, and he does like it (we’ve had it several times since). I tell him it’s pork, and he’s just fine with that – provided he’s truly hungry. It’s not nearly that simple with Clare, but she’s got five years of prejudice to overcome. I have absolutely no idea when she’ll deign to try pork. I’d love to say that’s her New Year’s resolution, but those aren’t mine to make. What are mine to make are more and more meals that continually present her with the opportunity to try new food – armed with the truth of what the food contains.
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading ...Discussion
3 comments for “The Finicky Files – Truth is Stronger than Fiction”
Post a comment
Related Posts
Recipes
Browse Blog
Absolutely love your commentary Liz. Thanks for sharing.
“Chicken cake” ????? Liz – that should win some kind of quick-thinking award!!! Hysterical! Being pregnant myself, and indulging in WAY too many sweets, I find myself getting caught in the act by my daughter all the time. She hears a wrapper opening (say from a Hostess Cupcake) and she finds me in the kitchen with the dubious question “Mommy – what do you have for me???” Maybe I need to ask Allyson – what should I answer…… broccoli cupcake???
At least you haven’t told Clare and Danny that “everything is better with bacon”—yet!